I’m exhausted from being sad. I’m exhausted from crying and thinking and hoping and longing and all of that. As much as I want to have another baby, I’m exhausted every time I even think about being pregnant again for another nine months.

I know it’s something I’m willing to do, excited to do even…but just the thought of it makes me so…tired. All of the positive thoughts, like the idea of watching my belly grow, feeling the baby move…all of those are wrapped up inextricably with the overwhelming thought: “UGH I just did that. I JUST did that.”

I know it’ll be wonderful and rewarding in the end. I just need to get pumped. And get ready to be exhausted some more.

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