It’s insane to me that I’m still in this phase after Malcolm where I would trade anything I’ve had since he died for him to be here still. I know that once I get pregnant again and I have something that I wouldn’t trade, things will be a little better. But the experiences I’ve had since he died? Those are fine, but I’d still trade them to have him back…to have him here.
I’m really waiting for this next baby. I know having another baby won’t change how I feel about Malcolm, but it will maybe stop the overwhelming wish that I could travel back in time and change all of this. Not to mention we just really want to be a mom and a dad again.