Back in April of 2013, I started a blog after I found out I was pregnant with my first child. Fast forward 10 months and here I am again, starting a blog about getting over the death of my first child and trying to have another. It’s insane to think about everything before Malcolm. It doesn’t make any sense that I was ever carefree or blissfully happy. I am happy now, in my own way. I love my husband more than anything. We have a cozy apartment where I feel safe and warm. I still have a chance to start a family. I am still a happy person – I just have a lot of sadness resting right at the surface. Hopefully writing this will help me get through the process of wading through all of it.